Clockwork Orange

Good thing that I took off my shoes to go through airport security. The Threat Level is Orange. Orange, I say.

Recognition

Forms always call for a #2 pencil. Have you ever seen a #1 pencil? Neither have I.

The Government

I saw a headline that read, "FTC considering ban on loan modification scams." Under what circumstances should scams not be banned?

Huh?

Yum!

Mickey Mouse, smickey mouse! Check out the Rowdy pancake!

Flock of Seagulls

Do I look like I would like to put gel in my hair? Do I?

Cookie Monster

This is one freaky looking Animal Cracker:

The Suffering

My toe hurts.

Product Innovation

I think that no-tear shampoo is a great product for little kids. However, I wonder at what age shampoo manufacturers decided people are old enough to risk potentially-tearing shampoo? I admit that it has been many years since I have gotten shampoo in my eyes, but one never knows.

Stimulus

I won $185.00 playing craps. Sometimes, you have to roll the hard eight.

Jihadist Beware!

Today (February 24, 2009) is National Pancake Day. Take that, Osama Bin Laden!

Sterner Stuff

The other day, I went almost five hours without Chapstick. FIVE HOURS!

When serving ice cream cake, it is best to take it out of the freezer prior to serving. Lest, the ice cream is hard and difficult to eat.

Words to Live By

It is what it is.